Friday, June 17, 2011

It's Not Easy Being a Misfit Toy

Remember the Misfit Toys? They were in the Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer TV special that has aired every year during the holidays since we were kids. 

They were the toys that nobody loved or wanted because there was something strangely wrong with them. 
 
A Charlie-in-the-Box! A spotted elephant! A choo-choo with square wheels on the caboose! A water pistol that shoots jelly! A cowboy who rides an ostrich

Each year, King Moonracer searches the world for misfit toys and brings them to his island, so that they could live unhappily together forever until somebody wants them. 

However, misfits don't have to be just toys. They can be people, too--right here on planet Earth. 

I think we all experience Misfit Toy moments from time to time. Sometimes we feel unloved, neglected, lonely, ugly, dumb, or awkward to the world. Unfortunately, the pain of being a misfit lasts longer than just an occasional moment for some of us. 

But when I'm feeling unwanted and put back into the toy box in favor of the popular toys, I must endure my "misfit-fulness" and try to focus on the good things about myself. 

Hermie, my hero!
After all, Rudolph and Hermie the dentist elf were misfits as well...and they ended up living happily ever after.



Sunday, June 12, 2011

Get Outta There...NOW!!!



 
I thought I'd share a story that happened to my neighbors recently. But I must warn you that the ending isn't very tasteful.

My neighbors, Paul and his kids, went to a water park after the kids were begging him to take them. It's sizzling HOT here now, so swimming in some cool water sounded like a smart idea.  


Paul had just come home from work in the evening, and the two kids were already in their swimming gear, ready to go. They would have a few hours until the park closed. So Paul and the kids were there, swimming and splashing and having a good time. 

But at 8:30, the lifeguard yelled out: "Everyone out of the pool now! Everyone out!" 

Paul went up to the lifeguard and told him that they still had another 30 minutes before closing time. "You don't close until 9:00," Paul said. But the lifeguard paid no attention and shouted, "I want everyone out of this pool right now!!" But Paul continued to argue, "You shouldn't close early. We still have another half-hour."

The lifeguard didn't want to give any explanation, but he finally took Paul aside in private to tell him the reason for this sudden outburst.


"Some kid pooped in the pool." 








Friday, June 10, 2011

THOSE DAMN CORN FLAKES!

While I was recently eating a bowl of cereal, an old joke came to mind. 

This is about two brothers. It's morning, and the boys are in their bedroom getting dressed. 

It was the older brother's 10th birthday. He proudly says to his little brother, "Now that I'm 10 years old, I get to say cuss words." 


"You do? Wow, that's awesome! What cuss words are you going to say?" asked the little bro. 

"I haven't made up my mind yet, but I can't wait to start cussing," he answers.

Just then the boys' mother calls them to the kitchen for breakfast. She smiles, wishes her older son a happy birthday, and then asks him, "What would you like for breakfast?" 

Thinking this would be a good time to say his first cuss word, he responds, "Oh, I think I'll have some of those damn Corn Flakes."

Immediately, the mother becomes furious. She sends him to his room and tells him that he will have a punishment coming.

She then turns to the younger boy and asks, "And what do you want for breakfast?"

The little guy is shaken up after witnessing the raging scene and shouts:

"I don't know, Mom...but I sure as hell don't want any of those damn Corn Flakes!!" 

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Jury Duty, ho hum....


Hello world! 

Wow, I haven't typed anything in my own blog in over two years! Is this thing still on? I'm asking my brain. I guess it's because I really haven't had much to blog about. But I thought I might as well type something here again, although I'm probably the only one who will read it.

So at the beginning of this year, 2011, I get a letter in the mail, telling me that I've been selected for jury duty for the next six months. Oh boy! I'm so NOT looking forward to it. I got my first call in January. Both my parents have served, so they knew all about it.

This first time, it wasn't a big case. There were about 60 people there, and my assigned number was somewhere in the 40s. Not a big chance that I would get picked to be on the jury. They say the lower numbers are most likely to be picked.

It was a cold wintry day. I had a heavy coat on, but the courthouse was quite warm. We were all bunched up together on hard wooden benches that weren't exactly too comfortable. I was a little nervous and didn't take off my coat before I had sat down, although I wish I would have.

After waiting and waiting, the judge comes in the courtroom, and we recite the Pledge of Allegiance. But then he let us know that the case had been settled out of court. Whew! Nice meeting you all! Time to go back home.

But the next time I got called, which was last month, I had to spend more time at the courthouse. This time, however, it wasn't a cold wintry day--it was a HOT summer-like day! And this was a murder case! My assigned number was 34 out of about 100. This case was going to last three days or so.

Sitting there bunched up in the hot crowded courtroom on a hard wooden bench for most of the day, I listened to the judge and the lawyers about the case. We were asked a lot of questions (a process known as voir dire), as they needed to choose a jury. Would I be chosen this time?

Almost! I was skipped over a few numbers. Whew! Squeaked by again! But this time, I was a little disappointed. I do sometimes watch court shows, and I really wouldn't have had a big problem being a jury member. Nothing wrong with a little excitement in my life, right? Ah well, maybe next time.

Well, a few weeks ago, I did get yet another call for jury duty. I must report on Thursday at 8:30 a.m. This is my last month, so I might as well go out with a bang. But this time, I don't even make it to the courthouse. They call to let me know that the case has been settled out of court. Ah well.

I came oh so close, but I guess I was just never meant to be a jury member. I just hope that I never have to spend time in court besides jury duty.

Thursday, March 12, 2009



BASICS:
Name:
Michael
DOB:
December 15
Birthplace:
PCM Hospital
Current Location:
St. Louis, Missouri (area)
Eye Color:
Green
Hair Color:
Blonde
Height:
5'9"
Heritage:
Irish
Piercings/Tattoos:
0/0

FAVORITES:
Genre of music:
Rock
TV show (current):
"How I Met Your Mother"
TV show (classic):
"The Brady Bunch"
Movie:
"Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid"
Food:
Pizza
Pizza topping:
Italian sausage & mushrooms
Drink:
Soda, water, milk, lemonade, wine
Animal:
Dog
Month:
December
Holiday:
Christmas
Flower:
Rose

THIS OR THAT
Sunny or rainy:
Sunny
Chocolate or vanilla:
Chocolate
Fruit or veggie:
Veggie
Night or day:
Day
Sour or sweet:
Sweet
Love or money:
Love
Coffee or tea:
Tea

YOUR...
Goal for this year:
Lose a little bit of weight
Most missed memory:
My brother :(
Best physical feature:
Do I have one?
First thought when waking up:
Is it morning already?!

FUTURE
What do you want to be when you grow up:
I'll never grow up!

DO YOU...
Dance in the rain:
I did as a kid.
Smoke:
No - never have and never will
Drink:
Yes, but rarely
Shower daily:
Yes
Like thunderstorms:
Yeah, except when the power goes off
Curse:
Very rarely
Sing:
Yes, very often
Think you are good looking:
Who me?? Nah.
Get along with your parents:
Yes

OTHER QUESTIONS
Can you whistle:
Yes
Right or left-handed:
Right
Your bedtime:
Whenever I feel tired - or simply fall asleep
Biggest fear:
Fear itself
Siblings:
Two older brothers, one sadly deceased
Do you wear glasses/contacts?
Yes, I have four eyes (glasses).